Whatever...

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Whatever... Nothing matters...
A drawing that came out from the darkest corners of my soul...

Well, what can I say, this is the result of not sleeping at nights. I have sleep disorders for ages already and the scene for this drawing got into my head while laying in bed in darkness with my eyes open and watching at lights coming from cars passing by my house and feeling like shown in this drawing.

And this drawing wasn't intended about giving up and stabbing oneself with a dagger. It's about this feeling. When all these shitty as well as good things happening around you, people you actually care for, things you must do become completely meaningless and you care about them almost as less as about yourself. When you feel no emotions, even not the sadness, when there's no strength nor any wish to get up and do anything. When there isn't even any wish to get rid of this feeling by taking a pencil and drawing how bad you feel or by hitting a wall in your house. When only wish is to die in your cold and dark cave. When you wouldn't care even about bleeding from a dagger in your stomach.

But I have my reasons why I never won't surrender to this feeling, no matter what I sometimes might be wishing for. So sometimes I just end up walking around without seeing anything, without talking to anyone, unless I'm asked about something yet studying or working, doing what I must do. And not caring about it at all, then even my reasons why I'm doing what I am don't makes a difference. But then saying that nothing matters is so easy and it really feels like this.

And the reason why it's a blue cave is because after I started painting my entry for *cepums blue cave contest a while ago in photoshop my head's full with blue caves. And this one was just a quick (for me everything that don't takes 40 hours is called a quick drawing) work done in between some other drawings.

And yeah, this was coreldraw practice as well. Thought it's about time for me to draw a picture with a background as well not only some animal or tribal design in it.

Ah, and if you notice any mistakes in this one or things to improve in my further images, I'm all ears.